


A Little Too Much Too Late

by MrsK81



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-14
Updated: 2012-06-14
Packaged: 2017-11-07 18:03:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/433873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsK81/pseuds/MrsK81
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Having spent years waiting for her Mr. Right, Bella is finally getting the wedding of her dreams & a job opportunity of a lifetime. But life is never that simple & soon she is in way over her head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Prologue** **  
**

_**Diary of a Bride** _ **  
**_**March 2012** _ **  
** _**Entry Title – The day is he re** _

_My name is Isabella Swan, and for those of you who have not been following my diary until now, you probably aren't aware that in a few short hours I will be standing before my family, friends, and colleagues as I marry my fiancée. I have dreamed about, planned, rehearsed, and pictured this very day for most of my life, as I'm sure most of us girls do._

_I am, and always have been a hopeless romantic. I honestly believed that there was one person out there meant for me, and it was only a matter of time before he walked into my life. Every time I met someone, I would wait for those "sparks" that romance novels tells us we feel the second our eyes connect and pray that this time, I'd found him._

_Whenever I went out on dates, I couldn't help but let my imagination fast-forward to the day I was presented with an engagement ring, or the day we would be married, or my husband and I were accompanying our child to his first day at school. Unfortunately, while I was busy planning our future, the guy I was with, was usually busy planning how to make a quick escape._

_I clung to the hope for another seven years that Mr. Right would find me, that we were destined to meet at some point. I dated of course, but none of the guys made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, never made me feel the aforementioned "sparks" so I remained single. This suited me fine because I wasn't settling for second-best and I most definitely wasn't prepared to sacrifice true-love._

_Now, as I stand in the lavish suite at the Plaza Hotel, in my custom-designed wedding dress, with not a hair out of place, and flawless make-up, I should be ecstatic. I am finally here—finally about to become a bride._

_I am in love, hopelessly, and crazy in love with the most amazing man I've ever met. He is the only man to give me goose-bumps, the only man who has ever made me feel like I was flying after we shared our first kiss. I simply can't imagine my life without him. Period._

_So, what's the problem I hear you ask?_

_There is just one tiny flaw in my otherwise perfect day. The man who I love with every ounce of my soul, has no idea that I feel this way. He has no idea that I have fallen so pathetically hard for him, and he has absolutely no idea that when I'm around him I can barely breathe. The man I've been waiting all my life to meet, is not the man I am about to marry, and I don't know what the hell to do to fix this mess._


	2. Chapter 2

** Chapter 1 – You're really old, huh Aunt B? **

** September 2011. **

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday, Aunt Bella, happy birthday to you."

I forced a smile as my adorable niece and nephew followed their mother into the lounge. Their eyes twinkled with excitement at the cake that was lit up in her hands.

"Thanks, guys, that looks great," I said, blowing out the candles, and then frowned. "Um... what's the picture?"

"Well, Mommy had the cake lady put a photo of you on it," Alice squeaked. "But, we had to put so many candles on the cake they all started melting and the wax has made the picture go all funny."

"You're really old huh, Aunt B," Alex said matter-of-factly, and his sister nodded vigorously.

"I can't even count on my fingers and toes how hold you are, Aunt Bella," Alice added, and her mother hushed her.

"Alice, Alex—what did I tell you?" My sister Leah smiled apologetically at me. "Sorry, Bella, they just don't think before they open their mouths—Kids, eh?"

"Yeah, kids." I sighed.  _I wouldn't know._

My sister was just another reminder of just how empty my life was. Leah was five years younger than me, yet she had still managed to meet and marry her childhood sweetheart, Sam. They had two wonderful children; Alex who was five, and Alice just a year younger.

During high school, I was popular enough, but the guys just tended to see me more as a buddy, rather than anyone they wanted to hook-up with. During college, I fared a little better, but while I was dreaming of marriage proposals and huge white wedding dresses, the guys I met dreamed of blow jobs and threesomes.

I graduated from college  _still_ single but excited. I was offered an intern position at a fast-growing fashion publication. A humble start as an office junior, but with my degree in journalism I wanted more; after working hard to be noticed, I had an opportunity to cover one of the monthly columns for a colleague and I never looked back.

Now, in addition to writing my monthly column about more-or-less any topic I chose, I was also chosen to cover other stories each month. In the seven years I'd worked at Eclipse, I'd become one of the senior reporters, and I could wholeheartedly say I loved my job.

"So, Bells, twenty-nine? The last birthday before the big 3-0. You'd better make the most of your twenties—time's almost up before you're officially O-L-D!" my brother Seth quipped.

"Thanks, Seth, that's just what I needed to hear," I said through gritted teeth.

"You're welcome, Sis. Thank God I've got another nine years before I have to worry about turning thirty," he said laughing and added, "How's your love life anyway? Any guys lined up? Being single is fine in your twenties but after that you're screwed."

_Again? Do we really need to talk about this every single time...?_

"Bella's a career woman, aren't you, honey?" my dad argued proudly. "She doesn't have time for men and babies—my girl's gonna change the world."

"Wow, Dad, those are some strong rose-tinted glasses you have. Bella works for Eclipse you know, the only world she can change is the fashion world," Seth joked. "Just kidding, Bells, you know I think you're awesome."

"Well, whatever she does, we'll always be proud of her," Leah said. "She's the only one of us to get out of Forks that's for sure."

I shrugged and tried to drown out the debate about my life. I loved my family, don't get me wrong, but I was so used to life on my own, coming back here gave me a headache. My phone buzzed and I picked it up immediately.

_How are you holding up? Ready to escape to New York yet? - K x_

My colleague and best-friend, Kate knew me only too well.

_My flight leaves at noon tomorrow; I'm contemplating spending the night at the airport ;) B x_

_I'll pick you up at JFK with a coffee and muffin. K x_

_Did I ever tell you I love you? What would I do without you? B x_

_You'd be fucked, B. Fucked. :)_

_Wish I was fucked... LOL B x_

_So, as soon as you're back, call the dog. He's always happy to oblige. K x_

I'd been seeing the "dog" as Kate so eloquently put it for about six months now. It wasn't serious, not at all, but a girl has needs right?

_Leave the poor guy alone, Kate. JACOB is a sweet guy & great between the sheets... trust me B x_

_Shame there's not much going on between his ears. You really struck gold there, B. K x_

I couldn't really argue, as sweet as Jacob was, he certainly wasn't finding a cure for cancer any time soon. We'd met at a photo shoot for the magazine, he was a model and at twenty-five, he was now four years younger than me. Super cute, tanned, and with a body to die for—Jacob had his benefits. Although he lived in New York, he travelled all over and our casual arrangement worked for the both of us.

Kate, however, failed to see the attraction and couldn't understand why I kept him around.

_Let's not go down this road again, please? I'm going to stuff my face with cake now, see you tomorrow. B x_

I put my phone down and gave my family my attention again. My so-called "party" succeeded in making me feel even more depressed than I had been before the cake incident. Alice sang along to  _Hopelessly Devoted To You_ in front of everyone, and Alex gave me a picture he had made of me.

"Hey, Alex, why do I have grey hair?" I asked.

"I didn't have a brown crayon, and Seth said your hair was really grey anyway, 'cos you're so old," Alex answered innocently and I shot a dirty look my brother's way. "He told me to draw the walking stick too... do you really use a walking stick Aunt B?"

"No, Alex. Pay no attention to your asshole uncle," I growled.

Seth laughed. "Lighten up, B. I was only joking."

"Mommy, Aunt Bella said a bad word," Alice said. "Does she need to go in the naughty corner like Alex did last week when he said I was an annoying S-H-I-T?" She spelled out the word and looked at her mother.

"What do you mean S-H-I-T?" Seth taunted, knowing the reaction he would get from Alex.

"It means shit, shit, shit!" Alex giggled and started racing around the room like a lunatic.

"Great, now he's all hyper." Leah sighed and then shouted, "SETH! I TOLD YOU TO QUIT WINDING HIM UP! HE'LL BE GOING NUTS FOR AGES NOW!"

Alex barged into Alice and knocked her to the floor in tears. Leah and Sam tried to comfort her and calm down Alex at the same time, but they were hampered by Seth who was laughing uncontrollably. The noise was too much for me and I walked out of the room and into the kitchen.

_Why the hell am I so desperate for a piece of that kind of life._

"Are they at it again?" my stepmother, Sue, asked.

"Yeah," I said. "They're certainly a handful."

I stayed in the kitchen with Sue and my dad, being force-fed an inordinate amount of chocolate cake and wine. She insisted I needed to fatten up, and that being too skinny could interfere with my chances of getting pregnant in the future.

_No chance of that, I'm destined to be the woman in Alex's picture. Old, grey, unable to walk without the use of a stick... and more depressing... alone._

I spent the night in my old bedroom. Nothing had changed in the eleven years since I moved out. There was no noise outside, nothing except for the rain drumming against the roof, and I found myself missing the car horns, music, and loud voices in the street that went on for most of the night in New York. The quiet and serenity of Forks made the loneliness I felt seem all the more over bearing.

I'd had a good life here, but it was a constant reminder of how little materialistic things mattered. No one lived in fancy homes; no one drove fancy cars, or ate out every single night. Forks and New York were worlds apart, and in reality my life was worlds apart from the rest of my family.

My biological mom, Renee, had left in the middle of the night when I was seven months old. She left a note for my dad saying she was sorry, but she didn't want to be stuck in Forks with a baby. Besides the occasional birthday and Christmas card, I'd never heard from her again.

Sue came into our lives just a few months later. She took care of me while Dad was at work; his job as a police officer meant he had to cover all different shifts. Proving more than just a babysitter, Sue and Dad married when I was three and Leah came along a year later, followed by my annoying brother when I was eight.

I had never been treated any differently than my siblings, but no matter how hard I tried not to think about it, I always felt like the black sheep of the family. Perhaps, that was why I chose to attend school on the east coast, trying to find a niche for myself to fit in somewhere new.

"Why can't you stay, Aunt Bella?" Alice cried as Dad loaded my bags into the trunk of my rental early the next morning. "I miss you."

"Bella has to work, Alice," Leah said and gave her daughter a cuddle. "Why don't you go inside? I bet Grandma has candy." Forgetting instantly about missing me, Alice and Alex were gone in a puff of smoke.

"You need to come back more," Leah told me. "Every time I see you, you're less Bella, and more Isabella Swan—career woman."

"That's crap, Leah," I huffed. "I'm just me."

"Maybe," she shrugged, "But we can see there are two different 'you's'. Just make sure you don't forget who the real B is."

"Have you been smoking some of Seth's wacky-baccy? You're making no sense at all." I teased as we hugged goodbye. "I love you, sis."

"Love you too, B, we all do."

~x~

As the plane touched down at JFK, I felt like I was finally home, and as promised, Kate was waiting for me with a coffee and a muffin and a huge grin on her face. We both started at Eclipse straight out of college. Kate was always up for a laugh and so calm under pressure. Her personality complimented mine wonderfully, and whenever my more serious side threatened to take over, she was one of the only people who could make me relax.

We were also total opposites in the looks department. Kate was tall with short blonde hair and icy-blue eyes. I was much shorter with long brown hair and brown eyes. She seemed to ooze glamour without even trying and I... well I needed all the help I could get.

"Happy to be back?" she asked and I nodded. "We went to print on Friday, so Esme has called a meeting tomorrow afternoon to discuss ideas for November's issue."

"Wanna brainstorm over a glass of wine?" I suggested.

"I can do a quick drink, but I can't have much. Garrett and I are having dinner with his parents. They're flying in for the weekend to talk about the wedding." Kate grinned. "Garrett's mom is super excited."

Kate and her fiancé Garrett were marrying in January, and I was Kate's maid of honor. Garrett managed an art gallery in Queens and he had met Kate at an exhibition he hosted; she had been covering the event for the magazine and they'd never looked back. He'd proposed six months later, and Kate had started planning their wedding immediately.

"Oh, and don't make any plans for Friday," she added. "You have to come with me to the gallery, there's another new artist displaying his work."

"Aw, Kate, come on. I hate that kind of thing... I don't get art... it's so fucking boring," I grumbled. "Why do I even need to come?"

Kate rolled her eyes. "Because I want you to meet Garrett's best-man—Edward. The two of you need to get your heads together to plan our bachelor parties. I've wanted to introduce you to him for ages, but you keep cancelling."

"Fine," I agreed.

"Good, I'll confirm the details later in the week."

One quick drink with Kate never happened. Just an hour before her supposed dinner with Garrett's parents, we stumbled out of the bar and into a taxi.

"Sorry, Kate, tell Garrett I made you come with me," I slurred and she shrugged.

"Nah, he loves it when I go out drinking with you—I always come back willing and horny," she said with a giggle.

After the cab dropped Kate off at her apartment, I called Jake. He was in the city and invited me straight over to his place. I gave the driver his address and tried tidying myself up a little on the drive over. He was waiting by the door when the cab pulled up, and he laughed as I wobbled over to him.

"Hi." He winked.

"Hey yourself," I said.

"Want to grab dinner?" he asked but I shook my head.

"Nope, let's just go to bed."

"I was hoping you'd say that babe," he replied.

~x~

After another night of the usual great sex, Jake was sleeping beside me, and I was lying awake looking at the ceiling. My still slightly drunken mind was punishing me, pointing out that Dad had Sue, Leah had Sam, and Kate had Garrett. Who did I have? All my friends from school were married, engaged or at least living with their significant others. Was I destined to be the ever-single one?

Time was passing by at an increasingly frightening pace, and I needed to stop messing around. I could join dating websites, go to well-known single bars and take charge of my search for someone to spend my life with. Jake was a great guy, but I knew he wasn't in it for the long-haul, and I needed to find a man who was.

"Jake," I whispered, expecting no response.

"Yeah?" he replied and rolled over to face me.

"What's going on with us? I mean, what are we doing?" I sat up and brought my knees to my chest.

"Having fun, Iz," he said and ran his hand up my back. "Is something wrong, babe?"

I sighed. "No... yes." Looking at him, I said, "I'm twenty-nine, Jake—I need more than fun."

"And by more, you mean...?"

"I want to get married, start a life with someone and quit fooling around," I told him. "I like you, Jake, I really do, but this just isn't enough for me anymore."

Jake sat up and sighed. "Iz, why are you doing this now? We're good together, you know that. Why end a good thing?"

"Because I don't want to be like this in another few years. This isn't about you, Jake, I promise. I need more and I would never ask you for that. I know how much you love your life as it is." I leaned forward and kissed him, before standing up. "I'm going to take off."

"Iz, come on. It's almost one in the morning. At least spend the night?" Jake argued but I shook my head.

"I can't, I'm sorry." I shimmied into my dress and grabbed my purse. "I have to go. Bye Jake."

Just as I pulled open the door, Jake came up behind me and slammed it shut. I felt his hands on my hips and his lips on my neck. He was very distracting...

"Jake, please. I can't stay... I really should go," I stammered.

"Marry me?" he murmured and I stiffened.

"What?"

"You heard me," he said. "Marry me. We're so fucking perfect for each other, babe. Let's do it."

I turned around to face him and he grinned. "Jake... you aren't serious? You don't even like calling me your girlfriend. Now you want to call me your wife?" I asked doubtfully.

Jake shrugged. "Iz, in the few months we've been seeing each other, you've never once mentioned being my girlfriend. We've never talked about the serious shit—I assumed you were cool with casual. Now you tell me I want more and you know what? I think I do too. Marry me?"

"Wow," I breathed. It wasn't the romantic carriage ride or picnic in Central Park that I'd always imagined, but it was a proposal... wasn't it?

Could this Mr. Right-now turn out to be the man I spent the rest of my life with? Honestly, I'd never even though about Jake being husband material... but he was a good guy and he was right—we were perfect for each other. Surely I could make it work? Besides, I had little in the way of alternatives, didn't I? A life with Jake or a life alone?

"Okay... let's do it," I answered nervously. "I'll marry you."

I let him pull me back to bed, discarding my dress as he did. As he kissed me, I tried to push the nagging doubts I had to the back of my mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading, feel free to let me know what you think! Also, thanks to Prettyflour and Twifanmom for working their magic on this chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 2 – Sparks... everywhere!**

  


I arrived at work early the next morning, Kate wouldn't be in for another hour and I needed to get my head in order. I was still pacing up and down the office when I heard her voice behind me.

"Wow, B, it looks like coffee was a bad idea."

I turned around and saw the Starbucks cup in her hand. "No, coffee is just what I need."

She walked over and handed it to me. "So, care to tell me why you're walking a hole in the floor?" Kate sat at my desk. "You look seriously strung out. Did the dog not put out last night? Is this just sexual frustration?"

I narrowed my eyes and muttered, " _Jake_ did put out last night, Kate. You really need to stop calling him that."

"Why?" Kate laughed and then frowned. "Seriously, what's wrong, B? You can tell me."

I sat down opposite her and sighed. "I tried to break it off last night—the thing with Jake," I began and saw Kate look hopeful. "I told him that I'd had fun with him, but I needed to stop fooling around. I needed more, you know?"

"Okay." Kate watched me carefully. "I sense a 'but' here."

"I told him, that I wanted to get married and settle down. I figured he'd all but kick me out after I said that; Jake is the ultimate bachelor after all."

"I knew there was a but." She sighed. "And?"

"The _'and'_ would be that he asked me to marry him, Kate," I answered nervously and she gaped at me.

"The _dog_ asked you to marry him? Shit." She groaned and said, "Never saw that coming."

"You're not the only one," I said.

"What did you tell him?" Her face softened and she asked, "You said yes, didn't you?"

I nodded and looked down at my hands. "Hit me with the abuse now."

"Awe, B. If that's what you want, then great," she said softly. "Is it?"

I couldn't help but laugh once. "He's a good guy, and I don't exactly have guys lining up outside my door do I?"

"Do you love him?" she asked, and my heart sank.

_I wish I could say yes and mean it._

"I guess so, yeah," I lied. "Please don't give me grief, Kate. I know you hate him."

Kate stood up and walked around to crouch in front of me. "I love you, B, and I want you to be happy, that's all. If the dog—sorry—Jake, makes you happy then that's good enough for me."

"I am happy," I said. "Really, I am."

_Maybe not happy like Kate is with Garrett—that's why she won't understand. But Jake can make me happier than I am right now, surely that's enough?_

"Then...great. We'll have as much fun planning your wedding as we did planning mine." She hugged me tightly, and I fought back the tears.  _Was I really happy? Was I?_

I was more astonished than anyone when Jake arrived at the office at lunch with a huge bunch of flowers in his hand. He strolled to my desk, ignoring all the stares from my colleagues, and kissed me.

"Hey, babe," he said. "So, I figured if we were engaged, then I needed to buy you a ring and make this official. We've not exactly discussed what you'd prefer, I hope you like it?" He produced a ring from his pocket and took my hand so he could slide it onto my finger.

I looked down at my hand and gaped at the sight. The diamond twinkled and looked remarkably pretty on my finger. I was engaged! I was getting married! I was not destined for a lifetime of being single. I would not be that sad woman in the picture my nephew drew.

"It's beautiful, Jake, thank you," I whispered and threw my arms around his neck.

Of course, by the time our afternoon meeting with Esme Platt came around, the entire building was aware that Jacob and I were engaged; I was inundated with congratulations from my colleagues.

"He's so fucking dreamy," Jessica Stanley, one of the junior reporters, said to me as we took our seats in Esme's huge office.

"Yeah, he's great," I replied.

She was still gushing about my fiancé when Esme entered the room. Her presence alone silenced the room, and she took a seat at the table with a smirk.

"Well, Isabella, I hear congratulations are in order. So, when is the big day?" she asked.

Esme Platt was the Editor-in-chief of Eclipse and insisted on attending this meeting every month. She was involved with every photo-shoot, every article, and every advertisement that featured in the magazine. Eclipse was her life and it was because of her that we had worked our way up to becoming one of the biggest selling magazines in the US. She was a hard-ass, make no mistake, but she commanded the respect of everyone with whom she worked. I loved her to death, but, admittedly she scared the ever-loving shit out of me too.

"Thank you, Esme. We haven't set a date yet, he only asked me last night and it was a little sudden." I blushed and Esme smiled.

"I was hoping I could talk to you about the wedding actually. I had a fabulous idea when I was having lunch." She tapped her pen against her pad and added, "Let's do a quick run-through of our features for the month and then we'll discuss it."

One by one the other reporters gave Esme their suggestions for articles. She either gave them a curt nod to indicate she was happy and they could proceed, or she pursed her lips which meant there was no way that idea was featuring in her magazine.

"I have an interview lined up with Tanya Denali, she's agreed to talk about her new line of clothing. She's used no animal-based materials, kept the production of the entire range in America, and made sure the models are all healthy weight-" I started to explain, but Esme shook her head.

"Do you mind if we let another one of the girls take that?" she asked.

I'd busted my ass trying to secure that interview. Tanya Denali was the most elusive yet sought after designer on the scene. She rarely allowed people behind the scenes and I knew the story would be huge. "I'd rather not, Esme. It's taken months to negotiate-"

"Everyone else, get back to work. Isabella, you stay; I want to talk to you about something." Esme waited until the room cleared and then she walked over to the window in her office. "I know you're abilities as a journalist are second to none, Isabella. You are responsible for some of the best features this magazine has printed, but I have an idea which I think might just prove genius."

I waited for her to continue, completely unaware at what she was about to suggest.

"Our sales are good. Actually no, our sales are great, but we need to keep mixing things up. We've received feedback from our readers; while they do enjoy the more serious articles, they absolutely love the columns we have every month. Yours has been one of the more popular ones for a long time now."

I frowned. My column was just usually me ranting about whatever had pissed me off in that month. I'd talked about some really trivial shit; I was surprised anyone read it religiously.

"What if I said we are going to give you a free rein to spend what you like for the next few months?" she said to me.

"Spend? As in money?" I asked and she nodded. "I'm not following, Esme."

"The magazine will pay for your wedding, Bella. We will cover every expense, and help secure whatever venue, photographer, or designer you want."

I was even more confused. "Why?"

Esme smiled. "I want you to compile a diary; every little detail about your planning needs to be in it. I want to know how you're feeling, how your fiancé is feeling, everything. We'll give you a two page spread every month, and when the day finally arrives we'll print the photographs in the next issue."

I laughed in disbelief. "Esme, I'm sure no one will be interested in reading that."

"Keep it in style with your monthly column, Bella, and I guarantee you they will. Your wit, and blunt approach will keep people reading." She walked back towards me. "What do you say?"

"I have to start right away?" I asked nervously. "Jake and I haven't even discussed dates yet."

"So, talk to him tonight and let me know in the morning. Although, I think you'll find Jacob is as enthusiastic about this idea as I am. He is a model, and his career is dependent on exposure; this will provide him with plenty of that." Esme returned to the table and sat beside me. "There is something else I wanted to talk to you about."

Something else? Had she not given me enough to think about this afternoon?

"Bella, I've been here for fifteen years, and while I love my job and this magazine—I can't keep doing it. I want to take a step back, spend more time at home and less at the office. I have spoken to the powers that be and told them how I feel. They want me to stay on until I can make sure there is a suitable replacement, which I agreed to do. I also told them, I think I might have found that replacement already."

 _The powers that be? That would be Aro and Markus the owners, the people responsible for employing Esme in the first place._ My breath caught in my chest, was she suggesting what I think she was suggesting?

"Do this for me, Bella, and I give you my word, it will be the last column you have to do. There will be no more interviewing reclusive fashion designers or obnoxious models. As soon as we go to press with the wedding pictures, I will take you under my wing and teach you everything I know. I trust you to keep the magazine going in the direction I love. Anyone new coming into this position would change things too much, and I don't want that. If you agree to this, Bella, a year from now it will be your name on the door to my office." She gave me a reassuring smile and I just gaped at her.

"Me? I can't...I wouldn't even know where to start..." I stammered and she laughed softly.

"Take the afternoon off and give it some serious thought. I see so much of myself in you, Bella, and I have every confidence in you."

I left Esme's office in a daze, and made my way slowly back to my floor. Kate was at my side in an instant asking for a play by play of the meeting after she'd left. I told her about the offer to pay for the wedding in return for access to every single detail.

"You lucky bitch," Kate said with a smile. "You said yes, right?"

"I said I'd talk to Jake about it, and I have to give her my answer in the morning." I looked at her and whispered, "There's something else I need to talk to you about, Kate—friend to friend. Can we have a drink after work?"

"Of course, are you okay?" she asked.

I shook my head. The idea of having my wedding day plastered all over the pages of Eclipse seemed cheap, but if I did it, I had the chance for the ultimate promotion. Something I'd never even hoped would come my way. Yes, I had always wanted the opportunity to sit at Esme's desk, but no one here even considered she would retire—not ever. I'd always assumed that I'd have to branch out to another publication to get that chance. Esme Platt was  _the_  definition of Eclipse and now I could see  _my_ name above her door. My life had turned completely on its heels in twenty-four hours. I went from single, to engaged; from bog-standard reporter, to possible editor-in-chief.

~x~

I arranged for Jake to come and meet me at the bar after Kate and I had chance to talk. I swore her to secrecy, and watched as her mouth fell open as I replayed the conversation between Esme and I earlier.

"That is awesome, B, you can't turn that opportunity down. No one ever thought Esme Platt would step down... never, and you have the chance to fill her shoes? It's amazing, and no one deserves it more than you do, B." She was more excited than I was, and her enthusiasm spurred me on.

She was still bouncing in her chair when Jake turned up. He sauntered through the bar, attracting the attention of the vast majority of the women in the place. I didn't miss the winks and smirks he gave to some of those women who watched, but instead of feeling jealous or pissed with him, I merely shrugged it off.

My nonplussed reaction brought those nagging doubts back to the forefront of my mind. Surely I should have some sort of reaction? I mean, no woman likes the idea of their fiancé flirting with other women...do they?

"Hey, Iz," he said and kissed my cheek as he sat down beside me. He gave Kate a nod and she returned it equally as cool. Jake knew Kate didn't care much for him, and Kate knew that he knew.

"So, I'm going to take off. Call me later, B," Kate said. "Don't let her get drunk, Jake, she has a lot of stuff to consider, and for that she'll need a clear head."

He nodded and looked to me for an explanation, so I told him about Esme's offer to finance the wedding. She had been right, of course, as soon as I'd finished telling him, Jake immediately agreed.

"Wow, that's a good deal, Iz. Everyone knows how expensive weddings are, so I think it's a win-win situation. You get to spend your work hours planning a wedding and it won't cost us a dime. I said I wanted to marry you, and I meant it—however we choose to do it."

"But it means getting married soon, and when I say  _soon_ , I mean like within the next few months. Are you sure that's not  _too soon_?" I asked.

"It is pretty quick, sure, but I think we should go for it." He nodded his head as he spoke and pulled me into his arms.

I studied his face trying to make sure he meant it. He grinned at me and there wasn't a trace of doubt or uncertainty anywhere to be seen. I guess Esme was right, Jacob saw this as a great opportunity both personally and professionally. But the question was, which came first? Hell, even I wasn't sure I was doing this for the right reasons so I suppose I had no right to question Jake's motives.

So that is exactly what I told Esme the following morning. Immediately she set me to work checking available dates, contacting florists, designers and absolutely anything else wedding-related. Of course, Esme had insisted the venue should be somewhere extravagant, so the first place I contacted was the Plaza, and the woman on the other end of the line actually laughed when I asked her about any availability within the next six months. I had the same trouble with all the major venues within the city, and I reported that fact back to Esme. She told me she would handle it, so I left the issue in her capable hands.

I turned my attention to dresses, and arranged appointments with the most sought after designers we'd featured in Eclipse at one time or another. At first they tried to claim they too, were overwhelmed with work and couldn't take on another job, but as soon as Esme Platt's name was mentioned, they suddenly found the time to meet with me straight away.

By Friday morning I had managed to outline pretty much what I wanted. Kate was my maid of honor and I'd called Leah to ask her and Alice to also be my bridesmaids. I was reveling in the planning and any trepidation I felt about marrying Jake was long since forgotten. I was still struggling to find a venue, but as I was about to discover, Esme Platt gets whatever the hell she wants and I received a call from Gianna, the wedding coordinator at the Plaza, confirming that she had an available room for me on the 14th March 2012.

"That woman has magical powers, I swear to God," Kate said in amazement when I told her about the phone call.

I'd been making notes in my journal, ready to compile them all together before my deadline in a few weeks. I was scribbling away, gushing how excited I was, how happy I was, because at that moment I really was.

"You haven't forgotten about tonight, have you?" Kate asked as we packed up for the day.

"Huh? What about tonight?" I asked and she rolled her eyes.

"Wow, you've got wedding brain already. Tonight is the exhibition I told you about at Garrett's gallery. Please tell me you're still coming, Bella?" Kate said.

I didn't want to go, and I certainly had no interest in meeting Edmund, Edbert, Eddison...or whatever the hell Garrett's friend was called. "Of course I'm still coming, what time do I need to be there?"

"We'll be there from seven, come whenever you like," Kate told me, and I nodded. "Are you bringing Jake?"

"I'll ask him, yeah. He likes any excuse to drink free champagne. " I followed her into the elevator. "What kind of exhibit is it anyway?"

"Trust me, B, it's better if I don't answer that question," Kate said, laughing.

Another benefit to working for a fashion magazine happened to be the amazing clothes that somehow found their way into my closet. I picked out a one shouldered, knee length dress, which hugged me in all the right places.

Garrett's gallery was an old, converted warehouse and he kept it as close to its original state as he could. Usually the paintings and sculptures he displayed added to the character of the place, but not tonight. I looked on in horror at the display, was this really considered Art?

Kate saw us and danced over. "B, so pleased you came."

"What the hell are these things?" I muttered. "Jesus, there's some really weird looking shit here, Kate."

"Garrett told me the artist made these sculptures from things he found," Kate told me and Jake.

"So, basically, his display is crap from the street and he wants to charge people for that?" Jake asked incredulously and I giggled.

"Yeah, I suppose so," Kate said. "Play nice, and make the most of the free champagne. I better mingle with Garrett."

"I'm going to see if there's anything stronger than Champagne at the bar." Jake wandered off leaving me standing in the middle of the room alone.

"Great," I said to myself and moved closer to a weird looking thing which was made up of a metal grill and tin cans. "What the fuck is that supposed to be?"

"A tribute to trash," a man said in my ear. "It is of great sentimental value."

_Great, Bella, offend the artist—nice move._

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to sound rude, I just don't have a good eye when it comes to art," I began to apologize and turned my head to a truly glorious sight. "Um...hi..."

"Hi," the man replied, and smirked.

My mouth was too busy hanging open to string any words together. I wouldn't be the first to admit, Jake was handsome, but the man standing in front of me was beautiful; manly and beautiful. He was far too good-looking to be some weird garbage-rifling fruitcake. A strong defined jaw coated in a slight dusting of stubble and lips that I just wanted to suck. His eyes were a gorgeous shade of green, burning somehow as he looked at me. I was fucking speechless, because right at that very moment I felt it! The sparks, lightning, thunderbolts—whatever the hell it was—I felt it!

"Are you okay?" He cocked his head and frowned.

"Um...yeah...sorry. I'm just embarrassed. I have no right to judge your hard work when I know absolutely nothing about art," I spluttered, and he chuckled.

"Don't worry, I agree," he started to say, "It's the weirdest piece of crap I've ever seen."

"What? How can you hate it if you made it?" I asked, and this time the chuckle became an outright laugh.

"I didn't make it. I'm just a guest." He pointed to a display stand beside the trash and said, "There's a story behind each piece apparently. This one is Tribute to Trash. I'm Edward Cullen, not interested in art in the slightest." He held out his hand.

I smiled and shook his hand.  _More sparks._ "Bella Swan, here as a favor to my friend and for the free champagne of course. It's really nice to meet you."

"Likewise," Edward replied. "Who's your friend?"

"Kate Moore, her fiancé Garrett runs the gallery."

"Garrett Riley?" Edward asked and I nodded. "Small world—Garrett's my best friend."

"You're the best man I'm supposed to meet?" I laughed. "Apparently we have some epic parties to plan on their behalf."

"Ha, that we do." Edward still had my hand in his but seemed oblivious to it. "So, you're the hot-shot reporter I've been hearing all about?"

I blushed. "I don't know about that. What do you do?"

Edward looked down and saw our hands still joined and pulled his hand back quickly. "I'm a resident at Lenox Hill Emergency Department," he told me as we started to walk to the next display.

"Dr. Cullen, huh? Impressive."

"In an ER, it's not so impressive. The majority of patients I see are drunks who always manage to vomit all over me and kids with pens stuck up their noses. Maybe if I'm really unlucky, there'll be an occasional junkie trying to con me into giving them their next fix." He smiled wryly.

"Now, I've seen ER on television. You must be forgetting all the knife-wielding psychos that you have to fend off and all the hot nurses you get to date," I teased and he groaned.

"If only that were true. Trust me, no hot nurse wants to date someone who's covered in vomit and other bodily fluids." He laughed, he was about to say something else, when we were interrupted.

"Babe, you need to see that thing down by the bar, I swear it looks like a limp dick," Jake snickered.

I glanced at Edward whose eyes were on Jake's arm as it slid around my waist. "I haven't seen that one. Jake, this is Garrett's best friend and the best-man at his wedding, Dr. Edward Cullen. Edward, this is my fiancé, Jacob Black."

The two men shook each other's hand and then Jake began pulling me away. I couldn't tear my eyes from Edward and sighed sadly as he gave me a quick smile before turning and walking away.

"Now we've made an appearance, can we take off?" Jake asked and I shook my head.

"Not yet, Jake. Let's go and look around."

I tried to concentrate on the display as Jacob showed me piece after piece of so-called artwork, but my mind was awash with thoughts of a certain doctor. I felt incredibly guilty to be so preoccupied with someone I didn't even know, especially when my  _fiancé_ was here with me.

We found Garrett and Kate at the other end of the gallery. "What do you think to the display, Bella?" Garrett asked. "I didn't expect you to still be here."

"Hey, I'm here to support my friend," I said and Garrett laughed. "As for the artwork, I admit it's certainly different. Whoever designed it has a real unique perspective."

"Unique perspective? That's very diplomatic of you, B." Kate snorted. "Just admit you hate it," she said and laughed.

"I don't hate it," I argued, unable to stop myself laughing.

"But you don't love it either," she added and suddenly we weren't talking about art anymore.

I glared at her as discreetly as I could, but she ignored me. Surely I wasn't  _that_ transparent?

"I hear you met Edward?" Garrett asked, breaking the silence that had fallen upon us.

"Yes, he seems like a great guy," I tried to say casually, but Kate eyed me studiously and I felt the blush on my cheeks.

"I hope you guys don't mind, but Iz and I are going to take off," Jake announced. "I'm starving and I know Iz hasn't eaten dinner."

"Then definitely go, I know only too well what happens to Bella when she drinks on an empty stomach," Garrett laughed and inclined his head towards Kate. "This one is exactly the same. I would fear for the artwork if you guys were on form tonight."

"Pay no attention to him, you and I would liven up this party right, B?" Kate winked and I giggled. "I'll speak to you tomorrow," she added and gave me a hug. "Thanks for coming, Jake—it was great to see you both."

"Wow, I am impressed," I whispered in her ear. "See, you can be nice to him."

We said goodbye to my friends, and made our way towards the door. "Just wait here, Iz. I need to take a piss." Jake disappeared into the men's room and I leaned against the wall.

I looked around the room, hoping for one last glimpse at a certain Dr. Sexy, but much to my dismay, I couldn't see him anywhere. That was probably for the best. I mean I was already distracted by him and that was after one conversation. Seeing him again wouldn't help my situation.

"Hello again, Bella." Edward emerged from the men's room and stepped in front of me.

"Hi, Edward," I said, smiling like a frickin' lunatic. "We're just about to leave."

"That's a shame. It was nice to know I wasn't the only one baffled by the so-called art in here." He smiled and started to walk away. He got a few steps and then turned back around. "Would you mind if I asked for your number?"

_Home number? Office? Mobile? Pager? Email?_

"I...um...I don't..." I hesitated and Edward held up his hands.

"I just meant so we can discuss the bachelor parties."

"Oh sure, of course." I carried business cards with me as a matter of routine, so I retrieved one from my purse and handed it over. "Here you go."

"Thank you, Bella. I have a busy schedule for a few weeks, but I'll call you as soon as I know when I'll be free."

The tips of our fingers touched as he took the card, and there was no mistaking the shudder that rippled through me.

"Goodbye, Bella. It really was a pleasure to meet you."

"You too, Edward. Goodnight."

Jake emerged a few seconds later. "Ready, babe?"

"Yeah," I said, sighing. "Let's go."

I would like to say that after I left the gallery I never gave Edward another thought. I would like to say that it wasn't a pair of burning green eyes that haunted my mind when Jake and I were in bed together later that night, but honestly, I thought of nothing else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading! One more to come today & you're all caught up :D  
> Love to Twifanmom and Prettyflour for not losing the will to live after working on the chapter ;)


	4. Chapter 4

** Chapter 3 - All Systems Go **

**   
**

The next few weeks seemed to pass by at a pace that I struggled to keep up with. I had to decide on wedding invitations, flowers, food and drink packages, music to walk down the aisle to, cakes, dresses, suits, chairs, vows, rings, hair, and so many other things I felt like I was about to combust.

"Remind me again, why the fuck I ever wanted to get married," I groaned and collapsed into my chair. "Seriously, Kate, I don't remember you having to plan this much... you always look so relaxed."

"Bella, my wedding is in my parents' back-garden, I have a guest list totalling fifty people, and my dress is the same one my mother and grandmother wore when they got married. You, on the other hand, are not having a low-key wedding. You have some fuck-awesome people coming to your ceremony, so you need it to be more than perfect." Kate laughed. "How's the diary coming along?"

I groaned. "That's a bigger pain in the ass than planning the damned wedding. Esme wants to know exactly how I'm feeling and why I'm feeling it. She's rejected three attempts so far, and now I have just two days to get it right before deadline."

"Our of curiosity, how are you feeling exactly?" she asked.

"Nervous, scared, stressed, tense, anxious,  _scared_..."

"You said scared already, B, and why are there no positive feelings in there?" Kate asked.

"What are you talking about?" I stared at the blank screen in front of me and willed the words to come out.

"Scared, anxious, nervous, stressed—they're all negative, Bella. Surely, you feel excited or happy, too? I know as scared as I am about getting married, at the same time, I can't wait. You do feel that, right?" She looked at me seriously and I back-tracked quickly.

"Of course I do...happy, yeah. Really happy," I lied. "I really have to get on with this, and I can't do it here."

I packed up my laptop and notes, and informed Esme I was working from home. As soon as I was in, I kicked off my shoes and poured myself a large glass of wine.

"Right, come on, Bella. Focus, let the words flow," I said to myself.

_Diary of a Bride – October 2011_   
_All systems go!_   
_When we were teenagers my friends and I would dream about proposals and wedding ceremonies—seeing them as this perfect event. In reality, I now see they're much different._

"Two fucking hours, and that's all you have? Useless, Bella," I muttered to myself. I looked at my phone and contemplated calling Kate to see if she could help. I was still staring at it, when an unfamiliar number appeared on the display.

I almost didn't answer it, but decided I needed a distraction from the clusterfuck that was becoming my first diary-entry.

"Hello, Bella Swan?"

"Hello, Bella, it's Edward...um Edward Cullen, Garrett's friend."

My stomach flipped and my heart raced as I recognised the caller. He didn't even need to say his name, there was no way I'd forget that voice.

"Edward, hi. How are you?" I asked, surprised by the instant cheer in my own voice.

"I'm very well, thank you. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to call you, but work has been hectic to say the least. How are you?"

"Great, thank you. Work's been a pain in the ass for me too, but apart from that, it's really nice to hear from you.

"I don't suppose you're available tomorrow evening? I finished my rotation this afternoon, and I'm a free man for seventy-two hours. I thought we could meet for coffee and discuss the bachelor parties," Edward suggested.

"I'm really sorry, but I can't do tomorrow. I have plans already."  _Don't blow off your fiancée for the sexy doctor, don't do it._ "Can you do tonight?"

"Yes, tonight works for me. Where do you live?" he asked.

"Gramercy Park," I told him.

"Well, I know a great little place not too far from you. It's called Balotelli's, do you know it?"

"Oh my God, I love that place! They serve the best croissants, I swear," I said excitedly and heard him laugh down the phone. "What time?"

"Is seven okay?"

I glanced at the clock—five-thirty. I could shower, change, and prettify myself in that time. Wait! Why the hell am I worrying about how I look? Ah fuck it, he's hot and there's no harm in a little window-shopping.

"Seven is fine. I'll see you then, Edward." I was smiling so hard my face was actually hurting.

_What the hell?_

I let my hair hang loose and decided to wear jeans and a shirt. Balotelli's was a casual place, and at the end of the day, this was not a date. Not a date, not a date. I gave my reflection a quick check in the mirror by the door and set off. It was only a short walk to the quaint little café, and I was there ten minutes early. I didn't expect Edward to be there already, but he was. As soon as he saw me walk inside, he called out, and stood to greet me.

Once again, I was floored by the sudden onset of emotions this man stirred in me. I smiled instinctively; my heart was beating at ninety-miles an hour, and when he returned the smile my legs turned to jelly.

_No, no, no, this can't be happening. Not now._

Proving that gentlemen still exist, he held out my chair and took my jacket. I was blushing like crazy—positive that he could see exactly what I was thinking, and feel just how insanely attracted to him I was. It probably wasn't anything new to him, a guy like that would have women fawning after him everywhere he went.

"So the croissants are good here?" he asked nervously and I realised I'd been staring at him again.

"Oh yeah, amazing actually. Especially the chocolate ones," I said and he waved the waiter over.

"Two chocolate croissants please, and I'll have a coffee. Bella?" he asked me.

"And for me, please," I told the waiter.

"Thank you for meeting me, I've been thinking about this bachelor party and I honestly have no idea what to do. Garrett must forget I've been living under a rock for the past few years." He looked a little embarrassed at his admission.

"Well, I know they are wanting to have them on the same night, and as much as I tried to persuade Kate otherwise, she is insistent on meeting up with you guys at the end of the evening," I said and rolled my eyes. "So, we can just plan them together."

"That would be great. I hope your fiancé won't mind you spending time with me?" he asked and I laughed.

"No, don't worry about him. He travels around a lot, he's in LA for a few days this week," I said, and he smiled. "Besides, he's really not a jealous kind of guy."

We spent hours in that little café talking about everything, except the thing we went there to discuss. Edward told me about how much he loved, yet hated his job, and despite the horrendous hours and relatively poor pay he wouldn't do anything else. I was shocked to learn he and Garrett had met at medical school, before Garrett had decided it wasn't what he wanted and followed a different path completely.

Edward was an only child. His mother, Elizabeth had passed away when he was a baby and his father had raised him. Carlisle Cullen was a surgeon at the same hospital as Edward, and it was clear to see they were exceptionally close.

I told him all about my childhood in Forks, my family, and my job at Eclipse. He seemed genuinely interested, never making me feel like I was talking too much, and when he spoke I hung on his every word.

He made me laugh, and I mean proper belly laugh, with tears rolling down my face, earning us disapproving glances from the other customers in the café.

It took us both by surprise when we were told it was after midnight and the owner wanted to close up.

"Shit, we've got nothing sorted for these bachelor parties," I said, and we both burst out laughing again. "At this rate they're going to end up celebrating their last night of freedom in some seedy bar. The guys at one end and the girls at the other."

"I'll let you know when I'm free again, and we'll crack on with the planning. No distracting each other this time. If that's okay?" he asked nervously.

"Of course it's okay; I've had so much fun, Edward. After the last few weeks, tonight was just what I needed—thank you," I said honestly. "But can we pass on the chocolate croissants next time? I dread to think how many calories I've consumed this evening."

"I don't think you need to worry about that, Bella." He rolled his eyes at me and held open the door.

"I have a fitting in a few weeks, and trust me, a few more of those and my dress is never going to fit me," I said and instantly regretted it. Not once during the evening, had I mentioned Jake, and I certainly hadn't mentioned the fact I was getting married.

"Wedding dress?" Edward frowned slightly, and I nodded once. "When do you get married?"

"March 12th," I replied and looked away.

"Here in the city?" he pressed. "Where?"

"The Plaza."

He whistled and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Wow. A big wedding, huh?"

"It's a long story and part of the reason I've been so worked up."

"Want to talk about it? I'm a great listener?" he offered, but I declined.

"I should get home. Early start tomorrow." I didn't want to go home, but I didn't trust myself in his company. He was too fucking irresistible.

"Of course, I'm so sorry. Do you want me to call you a cab?"

"No, I'm about five minutes walk that way." I pointed down the road. "Twenty-fifth and third."

I also declined his offer to walk me home for precisely the same reasons. I gave him an awkward half hug, and loved the feel of his body against mine.  _Stop it, Jake, your fiancé, remember him?_

"So you'll let me know when you're free?" I checked and cringed at how needy I sounded.

"I'll call you as soon as I know. Goodnight, Bella."

"Bye," I whispered and trudged home.

I was not sleeping any time soon. So I decided to try one more time to get my work done.

_Diary of a Bride – October 2011_

_All systems go!_

_My monthly column will be a little different for the next six months. Rather than having to endure my incessant ramblings about nothing of importance, you are about to come on a journey with me._

_A journey into the unknown for me, though a topic which most women, including myself, have been obsessed with since we were old enough to play make-believe—weddings. I am getting married in March and over the next few months I will share with you every last detail of my wedding plans, life with my fiancé, and then finally, you can see just how it all turned out._

_Weddings. Supposedly they're the happiest day of your life. I'm sure I'll discover that statement is true, but, let me tell you something first. I've discovered in the past few weeks, that while the day itself is the happiest day of your life, the weeks and months leading up to it are something straight out of a horror movie._

_Which dress? Which flowers? What venue? What music? Who to invite? The list is endless, and a person could easily drown in all the stress. In fact, that is precisely what I was doing... until tonight. Tonight, I realized that while March seems like a lifetime away, I know it will be upon me in the blink of an eye. Time is precious, and time with someone who makes your heart race is even more precious. Who was it that said, "Love is divine?" Well they were right, and if we're lucky it comes around once. So regardless of what is going on in your life, embrace the love, cherish it, and above all else—never let go of it. So, that's precisely what I intend to do._

I watched as Esme read through the introduction and sighed in relief when she didn't purse her lips. In fact she didn't stop reading until she'd read every line. She set the paper down and focused her intense gaze straight at me.

"I like it, Bella. Although, I have to ask what the hell happened yesterday?"

"What do you mean?" I panicked. Had someone seen me out with Edward?

"What you gave me yesterday morning was clinical and so detached it could never have worked, and I wondered if I'd misjudged your ability to do this. Yet, I read this, and it's like something has come over you."

_Not something, Esme, someone. The most incredible someone I think I've ever met._

"I just...nothing really...it's just...I don't know what to tell you, Esme," I admitted and she laughed.

"Well, whatever the hell it is, don't let it out of your sight for another six months."

Kate was sitting at my desk reading a draft of the very article I'd been discussing with Esme. She peered over the top of her glasses and raised her eyebrows questioningly. " _Love is divine_?  _Time with someone who makes your heart race is precious_? Who the fuck are you talking about, B? Because you sure as hell don't mean the dog."

"Not now, Kate, please? I stayed up all night writing that—I'm exhausted." I didn't have the energy to argue with her, and I plopped down into her chair.

"Okay, can I ask a maid-of-honor favour?" she asked, and I groaned. "We've decided to get our wedding bands redesigned and then engraved. I've designed Garrett's and he's designed mine. The problem is neither of us want to see them until the wedding day. So I was hoping that when they're ready, you'd collect them for me?"

"That's all? For a second there I thought you were going to ask me to babysit your incontinent great-aunt or something," I said and she laughed. "Of course I'll collect them. Where's the store?"

"A family-run jeweller in Jersey. They're going to call you when they're ready, are you sure you don't mind?"

"Not at all," I said, and she grinned.

"Thanks, B."

~x~

"What do you say to taking a trip to Forks with me?" I asked Jake. "My dad wants to meet you at least once before the wedding, and as I'd not actually told him about you until we were engaged, he's freaking out."

"You never told your dad about me?" Jake feigned hurt. "I'm wounded here, Iz."

"What was I supposed to tell him? That I was having a purely sex-related relationship with a guy from work? In my defense, had I known we were about to get married, I would have made sure to at least tell them your name. My entire family thinks I'm insane," I told him, and he laughed.

"When do you want to go?"

"I was thinking next weekend. I can work on the plane, and I have no wedding shit to take care of."

"I can't do Friday or Saturday, Iz, sorry. But how about, I fly in and spend the day with you on Sunday, and then we can come home together on the redeye? Does that work?" he asked.

"That's great, Jake. Thank you. What's the job this time?" We were lying in bed, and I could see Jake's eyes drooping.

"Honestly, Iz, I can't even remember. I think it's a shoot for another magazine; they're flying us out to Vegas Thursday afternoon." He yawned and then kissed my cheek. "I'm beat, babe, g'night."

He rolled onto his side, facing away from me and within a matter of minutes, he started snoring. I tossed and turned for a while trying to sleep myself, but it was no use—the guy was just too damned loud. I grabbed my pillow and headed for the couch. I pulled the throw around me, and closed my eyes. I was just drifting off when my phone buzzed on the floor.

It was almost two in the morning, who the hell was texting me? My annoyance at the late hour dissipated, and I beamed when I recognised the number.

_Hello Bella, it's Edward. Sorry to text at this hour, but I literally haven't done much else but sleep and work since we met for coffee. The only free days I have for a while are Friday and Saturday of next week... I don't suppose they work for you? Hope you are well._

I typed, deleted, typed, and deleted my response six times. Maybe I should play it cool, and wait for the morning to reply?

_Hi Edward, I'm good thank you. Sorry you've been so busy at work. Friday sounds good to me, same place or do you want to meet somewhere else? Bella._

I almost ended it with a kiss, something I did all the time, but somehow it seemed wrong with Edward. I hit send, and kept my phone tightly in my hand, hoping he'd reply quickly. I was delighted when he did, and that was wrong.

_Same place, same time? I've been dying to get another chocolate croissant. It seems late for you to be awake? I wasn't expecting a reply until the morning. Edward._

I should have turned off my phone, and forced Edward from my mind, so I could try to get at least a little sleep before my alarm went off. But instead, I replied straight away.

_Having trouble sleeping. Are you at work? B._

_Just finished, not the best of shifts & I'm struggling to switch off. E._

_Want to talk about it? I can ring you. B x_

Oh shit, I put the kiss... crap. And I offered to call him... at two in the morning.  _What the hell is wrong with me?_ But instead of receiving a text, Edward called me.

"Hi, Edward," I whispered down the phone. "Let me just go outside." I scurried to the balcony and sat down on the one chair I managed to squeeze into the tiny space.

"Are you sure this is okay?" he asked.

"I told you I can't sleep. What's wrong?"

"I lost a patient—a young girl. Her boyfriend crashed his car and she wasn't wearing a seatbelt. We tried for a long time to save her, but her injuries were too extensive. It's something I don't seem to be good at dealing with. Even after all these years." His voice sounded so sad, it actually hurt me to hear it.

I did my best to raise his spirits, and after a while, we reverted back to the jovial conversation we had enjoyed in Balotelli's. Once again, time seemed to pass like sand through my fingers, and I was shocked when I realised the sun was starting to rise.

"Edward, I have to get ready for work now. Edward?" I called his name a few more times, and I heard nothing but soft, relaxed breaths emanating down the line and I smiled. "Well, then I guess I'll just wish you sweet dreams."

I kept the line open and could hear Jake was still snoring like a jack hammer in the bedroom, so rather than going back to bed, I lay back down on the couch with the intention of closing my eyes just until my alarm went off. As sad, desperate or pathetic as it was, I held the phone to my ear and let the cute adorable sound of sleeping Edward help me drift off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh I was fibbing...one more chapter after this :P Twifanmom & Prettyflour are made of allsorts of awesomeness...j/s  
> xxx


	5. Chapter 5

** Chapter 4 – When Wrong Feels So Right **

Edward's lips brushed against mine and his hands gripped tightly around my waist, pulling me closer to him. "I want you, Bella, right here, right now," he whispered gruffly.

"I'm yours. Take what you want," I replied and Edward tugged on the hem of my shirt. I nodded and in one swift motion he pulled it up and over my head.

His mouth trailed across my jaw and down my neck. I felt his lips trace lightly over my shoulders, simultaneously pushing the straps of my bra out of his way. It had never been like this before—never, and we hadn't even gotten to the good stuff yet.

I gasped as he moved the lace cups to expose my breasts. My hands ran through his hair, tightening their grip as Edward captured my nipple in his mou-

THUMP, THUMP, THUMP!

"Bella! Bella, what the hell are you doing in there? Open the door!"

I sat up with a start, momentarily confused. I was on the couch. Alone and there was no Edward. I was dreaming _? Mm, interesting._

"BELLA!"

Kate's voice snapped me back to reality, and I stumbled across the room to the door.

"Why the hell are you banging down my door, Kate? Sheesh, I have neighbours you know?"

"Bella, are you high? It's almost eleven," Kate shouted through the door which I then swung open in shock.

"What? No fucking way. How is it eleven?" I left Kate by the door and raced into my bedroom in a panic. "Shit, shit, shit!"

Kate followed me with a coffee in her hand. "Okay, calm down, B," she said.

"Are you kidding me? Calm down? Esme is going to be foaming at the mouth. You know how she is about being late," I shrieked and changed as quickly as I could into a white blouse, and pinstripe skirt.

"When you didn't show up earlier, I told Esme you had an appointment, which was brought forward at late notice. Esme's cool, it was me that started to worry." Kate sat on my bed and asked, "What happened, B, you're never late?"

"I overslept," I said simply.

"No shit, Sherlock.  _Why_ did you oversleep?" she persisted.

"Jake's snoring kept me awake and then Edward called." I blushed as his name reminded me of the dream I'd had.

"Check out that blush!" Kate narrowed her eyes at me and then smirked. "Why is Garrett's best man calling  _you_ late at night?"

I shrugged and said, "He texted me to see when we could meet up to discuss  _your_ party. He said he'd had a bad shift so I offered to call him. He rang me and we chatted for a while. No big deal."

Kate scoffed and continued to look at me—waiting for the full story, which she absolutely wasn't getting.

"Don't look at me like that, Kate. It's nothing."

"Edward's cute, surely you noticed?" she asked.

"Well...yeah, I guess he is."

"And he's a nice guy?"

"Really nice guy," I agreed.

"And he's a doctor."

"Yes, Kate, he's a doctor." I nodded.

"And very single."

I sighed. "But I'm not, Kate. Remember my fiancé, Jake?"

"Oh yeah, how could I forget." She rolled her eyes and added, "Speaking of the dog, where is he and why didn't he wake you up for work?"

"He's working, and I guess he thought I was capable of waking myself. Jeez, what happened to you being nice to him, Kate?" I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and watched her through the mirror.

"I have to be nice even behind his back?" She saw my expression and groaned, "Fine. I'm sorry and I promise no more derogatory Jake remarks—unless he deserves it. But, FYI, I happen to think Edward is great."

I sat beside her on the bed and took the coffee. As I sipped it, I asked her the question that had been in my head since that night in the gallery, "Kate, how come you didn't introduce me to him before?"

"I tried, B. A few times, remember?"

"Yeah, after you and Garrett got engaged. But I mean before then, if you thought he was such a good catch?" I asked.

"We rarely saw him. He was always working or studying. By the time I got to know Edward, you didn't seem interested in meeting him. You like him, don't you?" She asked softly.

"I told you, he's a great guy," I answered, trying to sound casual.

"Not what I meant and you know it."

"Kate, I'm getting married in a few months. What I think about Edward doesn't matter, it can't matter." I shook my head and sighed. "Let's change the subject. You need to tell me where I'm supposed to be right now."

Reluctantly, Kate dropped the talk of Edward and provided me with my newly created alibi, and we left to go to the office. As we rode to work in the cab, my phone buzzed.

_Thank you for last night, Bella. Although, I am sorry for falling asleep on you. I'm looking forward to Friday. Edward x_

I got a kiss? Was it wrong that the simple letter "x" made my heart thump in my chest and brought a huge grin to my face?

_You're welcome. BTW you sound cute when you sleep. See you Friday. Bella x_

I saw Kate watching me, so I put my phone away quickly.

"Who was that?" she asked.

 _Lie._ "Jake," I replied.

"Bullshit," she muttered.

_Lie better._

I ignored her, and she said nothing else.

~x~

"Seriously, Edward, we have to stop," I cried and pushed his hand away. "This is so bad."

Edward shrugged. "I disagree. You need to take risks, Bella. After all we only live once."

"It's not you who has to spend hours at the gym trying to burn off all these calories," I continued to argue, and pushed the very tempting croissant back towards him.

"Fine. I'll just eat it then." He opened his mouth and took a huge bite. "Mm, so good," he said with his mouth full.

Before he could stop it, a huge dollop of chocolate ran down his chin and onto his white shirt. "Ah shit."

I burst out laughing for what felt like the two-hundredth time since I'd arrived and watched as he tried to wipe the stain from his shirt. "That's karma," I told him.

"What? That's not karma," he scoffed.

"Sure it is. You taunt me with the delicious food and then your punishment for said taunting is a ruined shirt," I said defiantly and he chuckled.

"Nah, that was just me being a pig," he said, still laughing.

Once again, we had fallen so easily into conversation. Being with Edward was exactly that—easy. I never felt any expectation or pressure to be anyone but myself. And whenever I was with him, gone were all the nagging doubts that I'd been carrying around with me lately.

We had made some progress at least. The date for Garrett and Kate's respective parties had been decided; as had the clubs we would visit before all meeting up at the end of the night. That final meeting place was all we had left to arrange.

"Right, are you done eating?" I asked. "Because we have to sort this out."

"Yes," Edward said, nodding and his mouth full of croissant and chocolate. Had this been Jacob, Seth or any other man I knew, I would have been so unimpressed. Yet whatever he did, Edward came across as fucking adorable.  _Boy, I was in trouble._

"I hope your bedside manner is more refined than your table manners seem to be," I teased.

"Depends which bedside you're referring to," he said causally, and I blushed furiously as I thought about the recurring dream I'd been having for the past few days.

"So, moving on," I said, and didn't miss the smirk on Edward's face. "I thought we could meet up at The Avenue over on East 63rd. There's not usually a huge line and with there being two parties, we need somewhere we can guarantee to get in. What do you think?"

"Sounds good to me and I know Garrett likes that place." He nodded. "Do you do that a lot?"

"Huh?" I asked.

"Blush," he answered. "It's really cute."

I saw his hand lift off the table presumably reaching for my cheek, and I stiffened.

_This is wrong; so, so, very wrong. I really need to stop it, but..._

Edward noticed my reaction and pulled his hand back quickly. For the first time since we'd met, an awkward silence fell upon us. He looked both embarrassed and maybe even annoyed—I on the other hand, had no idea what I was feeling and it was confusing the ever loving shit out of me.

"So..."

"I guess..."

We spoke at the same time, and I laughed. "Sorry, you go."

"Please, after you," Edward said, a little too formally.

"Um, actually I need to take off. I'm flying home for a few days tomorrow morning," I told him.

"Of course." He insisted on paying and then walked me from the café. "It was nice seeing you again, Bella."

"It's been fun. At least we managed to get everything sorted out this time," I said. "Do you have any plans for the weekend?"

"Making the most of my time away from the hospital," he said simply.

Whatever the hell had just  _not_ happened had really shifted things between us. I felt unbelievably self-conscious and uncomfortable, and Edward seemed like a completely different person.

"Okay then, bye, Edward," I said and he nodded.

"Good night, Bella."

I walked away down the street, fighting the urge to run back. After about fifty yards, I couldn't resist any more, and I glanced over my shoulder. Edward hadn't moved, he was looking straight at me—a wistful expression on his face.

If this had been a romance novel or a romcom, rain would begin to fall and I'd run into Edward's arms before experiencing the most passionate kiss of my entire life. But, as I knew only too well, real life is not a romance novel. So, I simply smiled, waved and turned away with a heavy feeling in the very pit of my stomach.

~x~

I got barely any sleep and it wasn't any better when I boarded the flight. The elderly lady beside me was telling me all about her family, and I was ashamed to say I never listened to a word. My head was in bits, awash with so many different things. I thought about Jacob, work, Esme, the promotion, my wedding, and of course, predominantly Edward. He consumed my every thought, and the way I felt about him was starting to scare me. No doubt about it, I was in over my head.

I had waited my whole life to get married; it had been my ultimate dream. Then, when I was finally able to start planning my fairytale wedding, I was presented with the most amazing job opportunity. Esme Platt was offering to mentor me, train me, and persuade the owners of Eclipse to give me the job as editor-in-chief, and in return I simply had to share my wedding day with the readers of the magazine. I couldn't risk my wedding or my career for a doctor I'd only just met.

I passed through security in a daze, still unable to shake my head clear of Edward. Surprisingly, Leah was waiting for me at the airport alone.

"Where are the kids?" I asked as we made our way to the car park.

"I left them with Sam. They've been driving me nuts, B. Sometimes, you just have to get away, you know?"

"Yeah, there's nothing quite like time alone with your thoughts," I said quietly and Leah frowned.

"You okay? I expected you to bounce through the door. But you look...I don't know...down maybe. You are okay, right?"

"I'm fine. Better than fine, actually. I'm really, really happy." I cringed at how unconvincing I sounded. "It's just been a crazy month."

"I can imagine. We're all dying to meet Jake. Dad's even been polishing his gun specifically for this occasion." She laughed and I groaned. "He gets here tomorrow?"

"Yep, he's in Vegas working," I told her.

"So, tell me all about him. I didn't even realise you guys were that serious, then all of a sudden you're engaged. He must be really something to sweep my sister off her feet."

I sighed and did my very best to do my fiancé the justice he deserved. As I told her about him, I was disgusted with myself. I had an amazing guy who wanted to marry me, and I was acting like a miserable witch pining for some guy I barely knew. Jake was my future, and I had to do right by him.

I made the decision to delete Edward's number from my phone. I'd have no reason to speak to him now, besides confirming the final details of the night out. After that, we'd inevitably run into each other at Kate and Garrett's wedding, but Jake would be with me. I needed to stay away from him, and I needed to force him out of my head.

My finger was still hovering over the delete button when we arrived in Forks.  _I'll delete it tomorrow...definitely...maybe._

I dealt with the barrage of questions from the rest of my family. Who was Jake? What did he do? Where was he from? How old was he? Then it was Chief Swan's turn to ask the questions. Could he support me? Did he have any illegitimate children? Was he a bigamist? A drug addict? A convicted felon?

I told my dad to stop worrying and assured him that Jake was one of the good guys, and he'd get to see that for himself when he arrived the following morning. I managed to divert the attention onto Alice, when I asked her what kind of dress she wanted to wear. She squealed in delight and for the next hour or so the conversation revolved around her.

A few hours after I arrived, Kate texted as I'd begged her to. Today was the day, the magazine went to print and I would learn if the wedding story was the hit I was hoping it would be.

_Magazine hit the stands today and EVERYONE is talking about your column. That job is in the bag, girl! Kate xx_

I should have been thrilled. I should have been ecstatic, but I felt pointedly deflated.

_Great :D B x_

_Great? Great? That's all you have? Wow, we need to talk when you get home; this is huge, B. Are you okay? K x_

This wasn't a conversation I was having via text and Kate certainly didn't need to hear my melodramatic shit this close to her own wedding.

_I'm fine. Forks has a morbid effect on me, remember? B x_

_I don't buy that for a minute, but don't worry, man's best friend will be there to keep you company soon. You did pack a bone for him right? K x_

I'd not even had chance to start my annoyed reply, when she text me again.

_Stop flipping out. I'm kidding. Say hi to your family and Jake for me and I'll see you when you get back. K x_

~x~

Jake arrived at eleven the next morning. Although he was perfectly charming with my family, he seemed uneasy and not his usual buoyant self. My family obviously failed to notice, and within about five minutes he had them all eating out of the palm of his hand—except for Dad of course. I could see him watching me carefully as Jake spoke. He wasn't rude, he didn't make any snide comments to my fiancé, but I got the impression he knew something wasn't quite right.

"Hey, Iz. There's something I really need to talk to you about," Jake said seriously, as I dumped his bags in my bedroom.

"Sure. Is there something wrong?" I asked, suddenly feeling nervous.

Jake hesitated. "Well...this weekend..."

"Come on you two lovebirds," Sue called out to us. "Charlie is taking us all out for dinner to celebrate."

"Be right down," I answered and turned back to Jake. "What were you going to say?"

He shook his head and put his arm around my shoulder. "Nothing important. We'll talk later."

We went to the only decent place in town to eat, and to my utter humiliation, Leah brought a copy of the magazine with her. After we'd finished our meals, she read out the entire piece and I cringed when she got to the gushy part about how wonderful love is and how it needs to be cherished.

I looked at Jake, and he was watching me with a bizarre expression on his face. I smiled shyly at him and he forced a smile in return. But it never reached his eyes.

"Here's to my big sister who deserves to be happy more than anyone else. And to Jacob, of course, for finally giving Bella the chance to be happy. To Bella and Jacob, and to true love," Leah said proudly, and everyone raised their glasses.

We spent the rest of the afternoon in Forks, before Jake drove us back to Seattle for our late night flight back to New York. I remembered Jake had wanted to talk about something, so I asked him about it in the car.

"Was everything alright earlier? It sounded like you had something important to say." I looked at him, and he kept his eyes on the road for a minute or so, before finally glancing over at me sweetly.

"No, babe. I was just going to ask if you'd mind me inviting a few more people to the wedding. I just thought you might have sent in the numbers already." He took one hand from the wheel and caressed my cheek. "What you wrote...it was really beautiful, Iz."

"It was just words, Jake," I argued feebly but he shook his head.

"No, babe, those were definitely not 'just words'. Hearing that you felt that way, it blew me away." he threaded his fingers through mine and brought our hands to his mouth.

I was such a liar. Everything I'd written in that article was not a reflection of how I felt about Jake, yet I'd happily let everyone—including him—draw that conclusion. I was spewing my guts about a man I didn't even know, a man that despite my best efforts I couldn't seem to go longer than five seconds without thinking about.

If only I'd not gone to that stupid gallery—no—if only I'd listened to Kate weeks earlier and let her introduce us. How different would things have worked out?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last one for now...will be back soon though. Thanks for reading, I'd love to see what your thoughts are so far?  
> And of course huge thanks to my prereader Prettyflour & my beta Twifanmom.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I'd love to know what you think so far.  
> Thanks also to the amazing Prettyflour & TwifanMom for being my wonderful prereader/beta!   
> See you soon
> 
> x


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